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I am an IMPATIENT LITTLE BIRD, or fish, or rabbit. Why I have been equated to small animals is beyond me. But it’s cute – its better than impatient ardvark, or sloth. That’s certainly not appealing or cute.
I’m gonna wear a super cute dress tomorrow for Easter – THAT I am excited about. We’re having Easter at Nathan and Sarah’s with ALL the in-laws. SUPERfun.
I went to David’s Bridal today with my mom and got my bridesmaid dress ordered, it should be here in the end of May and then I might have to do some alterations to it. Still looking for silver strappy sandals. We then went SHOPPING. I love when she decides to spend money on me. I have acumulated three new dresses, two skirts, two tops, two pairs of shoes, a new spring coat, and a bag. Yup.
So…I went to Fredonia LAST weekend to speak to the fellowship, I don’t really remember EVERYTHING I spoke on, but it was good. I felt the Lord’s delight over it and I think I made some good points, I received a lot of encouraging feedback. I am super glad I was able to pull out my sense of humor because I’m not the BEST public speaker, BUT I am doing much better. Considering the last time I had to speak in public was in October and I tanked, BUT I have to defend myself, I was in a different place in life, and having a really rough day – interpersonally. Lots of tension. So anyway, after the meeting I ended up hanging out with the kids and talking to a few different women. It was really good for my heart to share the little bits of wisdom and knowledge that the Lord has imparted to me through this season I’ve been walking through with Him.
So the thing that I’ve been really thinking about, and maybe I’ve been thinking about it a lot or have said it a lot – but it all comes down to love. Talking to various women throughout the past two weeks I am just seeing the same pattern, we are a people looking for love and looking to BE loved. And we ALL know where that comes from, but do we ever step into that realm? I am finally finding my confidence in the love of Christ, and its given me much more boldness and courage to do much more, like speak to a fellowship of 50 some odd twentysomethings about intimacy with Jesus, or sit in a friend’s living room and talk to 8 of my own peers about the song of solomon and dissect the book with these people and learn more about the LOVE that Jesus has for His bride. It’s giving me confidence to step out in different roles of leadership that I wasn’t expecting. I am confident that I am completely and fully loved by God – with no terms or conditions. He just loves me right where I am, just as I am – as weak and broken, and often impatient, stubborn, and cranky. He loves me, and I love Him, and I am so thankful. I want this to just go to the depths of my heart so I will keep throwing off the things that so easily entagle me. I realize there’s new things that are rising up in my heart that I have to deal with now that I didn’t deal with as much as before. But this is good, everything is good!
And seriously, we all KNOW these things, but do we let it sink in, do we sit in the presence of the Lord and just wait on Him? I know I don’t even do that as often as I should because of my flesh, I get impatient, I don’t like waiting, I want to know everything NOW. But that’s not the kind of season He has me in.
So my impatience that I mentioned in the beginning is because I am getting SO stirred up in the place of prayer and I WANT a HOUSE of PRAYER to be established in BUFFALO SO BADLY and I KNOW it’s going to take a long time of laboring in prayer and going deep, and seeking the face of Jesus and waiting upon Him and listening to Him for direction, but seriously I want it NOW. I sound so childish right? ha. But in all reality if there was a 24/7 house of prayer in buffalo, I would BE THERE. There is so much movement right now, its crazy – and its good, and its keeping my heart humble. It really is a pilgrimage, truly. And I am on this pilgrimage with some AMAZING people. Seriously, the more I am doing this with these people the more my heart is being moved in LOVE towards the Lord, and towards these people.
So I’m being pushed every so slightly out of my place of solitude, and it’s ok. I’m ok with it because it’s all stuff the Lord is doing and revealing to me. But I am ever so thankful for my solitude and I am realizing that I won’t have it for much longer, so I need to be jealous over it.
But I want to be steady when all the shaking comes, because it’s going to come.
So I met this guy last night, his name is Scott MacLeod, and his story was AMAZING. He’s currently in charge of Thunder School, which at first the name is kinda like ehhhh but honestly this guy is for real. He is all about raising up a generation of young people in the prophetic arts, which I think is fantastic. He went to Nashville to pursue a career in music like most people who go down there do, and long story short – the Lord had stirred him up and he put down his music to go into the secret place and be hidden in the place of prayer and went deep and did that for a period of time and then the Lord began to just bless his life over and over again with various relationships, connections, things relating to the music industry, ministry, etc etc. It was really cool hearing his story and it was really encouraging to my heart again about just being in the place of prayer, being hidden, going deep in the Word, spending long hours in the presence of the Lord, becoming so acutely aware of His voice that when He moves, I will know.
SO yeah, thats a lot.
Next weekend is going to be busy! I’m excited/nervous, but looking forward to what the Lord is doing to do, and expecting Him to show up. I want encounter, and I want to see people go deep.
By His stripes we are HEALED.
Random Fact #9136
Every year since I was a baby I was given a stuffed rabbit on easter, until I was probably 21 or 22. I have a large collection of stuffed rabbits that I will one day give to my daughters. 
